Gay Mormons
Mormons believe the following: We were all created with gender and our gender is an essential part of who we are, and who we were before birth. We are also not to have any sexual relations outside of marriage, heterosexual or otherwise. The procreative powers are sacred ones, meant to further the family and the existence and raising of children. To use them otherwise is a sin.
What do they believe about those with homosexual inclinations? How are they to react to those who engage in homosexual behavior or have homosexual desires?
In 1991, the First Presidency declared in a letter that “Sexual relations are proper only between husband and wife appropriately expressed within the bonds of marriage. Any other sexual contact, including fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian behavior, is sinful.” Thus, the Mormon Church does see such behavior as sinful and calls practitioners to repentance. It is not acceptable to continue to participate in serious sin and remain a member.
But this is for behavior, not thoughts. All members are called upon to improve their thoughts, but discipline comes only for behavior—which discipline consists of disfellowshipping or excommunication if necessary, if a transgressing member will not respond to the call to repent. Otherwise, others struggling with such feelings will have the added temptation to succumb.
But, to reiterate, feelings and tendencies are different from acts. All are tempted. We just may have different temptations. In the same letter, the Presidency said: “Individuals and their families desiring help with these matters should seek counsel from their bishop, branch president, stake or district president. We encourage Church leaders and members to reach out with love and understanding to those struggling with these issues. Many will respond to Christlike love and inspired counsel as they receive an invitation to come back and apply the atoning and healing power of the Savior. (See Isa. 53:4–5; Mosiah 4:2–3.)”
Unfortunately, although the Church has been clear about how we ought to treat those struggling with any temptation, be it sexual or otherwise, there remain many misunderstandings about the Church’s position. Mormon leaders have been asked how they plan to decrease the general hate toward homosexuals, they have been asked if homosexuals are pariahs who have been taught to hate themselves.
And, more unfortunate, even members misunderstand the Church’s position. Some condemn or mock homosexuals as deviants, not realizing that many with the feelings do not practice and are harmed by such callous and dismissive attitudes. To be tempted does not make someone a “bad person.” Everyone is tempted and everyone struggles. The Church condemns such blanket condemnations and promotes love, understanding, and communication. However, the Church does also stand against homosexual behavior and promotes traditional marriage and families, which may make some uncomfortable. Those who do not see homosexual behavior as a sin will find the Church’s position incompatible with their own. If Church members act (and continue to act) on their inclinations and then feel angry or estranged for feeling guilty, they are separating themselves by their choices.
We all have a responsibility to resist sin and temptation, regardless of the strength or attractiveness of the temptation. Homosexual inclinations may be harder to resist than some other temptations, but they must be resisted. Many are born with inclinations. The Church is not entirely concerned with whether inclinations come by nurture or nature. To abuse children is wrong, even if one was abused as a child. To have sex outside of marriage is wrong, even if one has powerful drives. The commandments cannot change to convenience people, or make life easier for them. In today’s world, to not act on one’s desires is often seen as repression or repression, but our lives are about more than our desires or our sexuality.
Eternal marriage is very important in Mormon doctrine, but the President of the Church, Gordon B. Hinckley, warns that “marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step to solve problems such as homosexual inclinations or practices.” Marriage should always happen for the right reasons. Marrying for therapeutic reasons (or “just to get married”) is common across sexual inclinations.
In the end, we all have struggles, but the Lord requires us to work to overcome sinful inclinations, regardless of the opinions of the world. He also requires us, however, to recognize that, as we all struggle, we should all love and support each other in our struggles. We should never be hateful. Never.
Further resources:
What is the position of the Church on same-gender attraction and same-gender marriage?