Gay Mormons
“Sexual relations are proper only between husband and wife appropriately expressed within the bonds of marriage. Any other sexual contact, including fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian behavior, is sinful.” It’s not about being gay or lesbian, but it’s about not having any sexual relations before marriage. Though, “Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God.” “Neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11).
We are also not to have any sexual relations outside of marriage, period.
“Gender is an essential characteristic of premortal, mortal, and post-mortal identity.”
All are tempted. We just may have different temptations. In the same letter, the Presidency said: “Individuals and their families desiring help with these matters should seek counsel from their bishop, branch president, stake or district president. We encourage Church leaders and members to reach out with love and understanding to those struggling with these issues. Many will respond to Christlike love and inspired counsel as they receive an invitation to come back and apply the atoning and healing power of the Savior. (See Isa. 53:4–5; Mosiah 4:2–3.)”
Unfortunately, although the Church has been clear about how we ought to treat those struggling with any temptation, be it sexual or otherwise, there remain many misunderstandings about the Church’s position. Mormon leaders have been asked how they plan to decrease the general hate toward homosexuals, they have been asked if homosexuals are pariahs who have been taught to hate themselves.
To be tempted does not make someone a “bad person.” Everyone is tempted and everyone struggles. The Church condemns such blanket condemnations and promotes love, understanding, and communication. However, the Church does also stand against homosexual behavior and promotes traditional marriage and families, which may make some uncomfortable. Those who do not see homosexual behavior as a sin will find the Church’s position incompatible with their own. If Church members act (and continue to act) on their inclinations and then feel angry or estranged for feeling guilty, they are separating themselves by their choices.
We all have a responsibility to resist sin and temptation, regardless of the strength or attractiveness of the temptation. Homosexual inclinations may be harder to resist than some other temptations, but they must be resisted. Many are born with inclinations. The Church is not entirely concerned with whether inclinations come by nurture or nature. To abuse children is wrong, even if one was abused as a child. To have sex outside of marriage is wrong, even if one has powerful drives. The commandments cannot change to convenience people, or make life easier for them. In today’s world, to not act on one’s desires is often seen as repression or repression, but our lives are about more than our desires or our sexuality.
Eternal marriage is very important in Mormon doctrine, but the President of the Church, Gordon B. Hinckley, warns that “marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step to solve problems such as homosexual inclinations or practices.” Marriage should always happen for the right reasons. Marrying for therapeutic reasons (or “just to get married”) is common across sexual inclinations.
In the end, we all have struggles, but the Lord requires us to work to overcome sinful inclinations, regardless of the opinions of the world. He also requires us, however, to recognize that, as we all struggle, we should all love and support each other in our struggles. We should never be hateful. Never.
Further resources:
What is the position of the Church on same-gender attraction and same-gender marriage?