Eternal marriage
The Mormon practice of marriage, or eternal marriage, confuses many people. In contrast to most people, who hold public civil marriages in chapels, Mormons marry in private ceremonies in Mormon temples. Why do Mormons do that? Why would anyone wish to do that?
It may be true that Mormons see marriage, and temples, differently than most people. Of course, neither are unique to Mormonism—but the ordinances performed inside Mormon temples are not performed by anyone else. And the Mormon form of marriage, performed in these temples, is therefore unique. And because of the nature of temples, these marriages are also very holy, as are everything performed inside a temple.
The concept of a holy marriage might strike many as about as unique and unusual as the ordinance itself. After all, couples can divorce so casually, even at the first touch of unhappiness. Even before the casual attitudes of today, marriages may have been longer-lasting, but could be rather loveless, made for convenience or economic reasons. How do Mormons justify their marriages as holy?
To begin, God has ordained and commanded marriage for us. Three scripture references for support: Corinthians 11:11, “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man in the Lord.” Genesis 2:18, “And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone.” Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Why would the Lord command marriage? It’s true, and most Christians know, that we have been told to “multiply and replenish the earth,” or bear children. Also, God has told us that it isn’t good for man (and we would assume women as well) not to be alone. This would indicate that companionship is important. Mormons believe marriage to be deeper than even that, though. They take the precept of a couple being one flesh to heart. We are meant to be together.
And beyond even that, together forever. Marriages performed inside the Mormon temple seal men and women together forever. “‘Til death do we part” does not apply. As long as the couple keep faith with one another and the promises they make to each other and to God, the marriage is unbreakable, a pure whole. The foundation of an eternal marriage is God.
Indeed, the promises made in a temple marriage are far more powerful than those made in a civil marriage. Might pre-marriage jitters be increased by the prospect of being marriage to someone, anyone, forever? Perhaps and, in fact, “Is this person who I want to live with forever?” would never be a bad question to ask before proceeding. Those who would be married in the temple should never be getting married to get married. Their relationship should be based on more than just mutual attraction, or even friendship. God should always be involved in such decisions and the would-be couple should pray to him at length and in earnest, to discover if the marriage, with that person, is right.
This isn’t to say that eternal marriages are free of problems, or that the couple will never disagree, or even have second thoughts about each other. No marriage is without its rough spots and even eternal marriage can come to a sudden end with divorce.
The strength of commitments made an eternal marriage, though, is so strong that Mormon couples would strive to work out their struggles in ways other than divorce. Every marriage requires adjustment, because every marriage is a joining between two different people. Customs, backgrounds, traditions, all may be different, and it can be difficult to find compromises between all these differences. But the compromises are usually possible and must be made. Most difficulties can be smoothed out through effort and love—and marriage should never be terminated lightly. Always, God will give His help unto those who truly want to find unity.
After time, commitment, devotion, these beginning clashes will become unimportant. And if a problem too extreme to overcome appears in the marriage, such as abuse, or infidelity, the covenants have already been broken by part of the couple.